Mother Teresa's Encouragement to Mothers

I'm loving looking up info on Mother Teresa this week. She was simple, passionate and full of truth. Here's some special encouragement for us as mothers today.  Friend and Sister, no one can take your place.  God has chosen you for this most amazing life-task of mothering. 

An Excerpt from Mother Teresa's message to the Fourth UN Women's Conference

God has created each one of us, every human being, for greater things-- to love and to be loved. But why did God make some of us men and others women? Because a woman's love is one image of the love of God, and a man's love is another image of God's love. Both are created to love, but each in a different way. Woman and man complete each other, and together show forth God's love more fully than either can do it alone.That special power of loving that belongs to a woman is seen most clearly when she becomes a mother. Motherhood is the gift of God to women. How grateful we must be to God for this wonderful gift that brings such joy to the whole world, women and men alike! Yet we can destroy this gift of motherhood, especially by the evil of abortion, but also be thinking that other things like jobs or positions are more important than loving, than giving oneself to others. No job, no plans, no possessions, no idea of "freedom" can take the place of love. So anything that destroys God's gift of motherhood destroys His most precious gift to women-- the ability to love as a woman.





Instead of death and sorrow, let us bring peace and joy to the world. To do this we must beg God for His gift of peace and learn to love and accept each other as brothers and sisters, children of God. We know that the best place for children to learn how to love and to pray is in the family, by seeing the love and prayer of their mother and father. When families are broken or disunited, many children grow up not knowing how to love and pray. A country where many families have been destroyed like this will have many problems. I have often seen, especially in the rich countries, how children turn to drugs or other things to escape feeling unloved and rejected.


But when families are strong and united, children can see God's special love in the love of their father and mother and can grow to make their country a loving and prayerful place. The child is God's best gift to the family and needs both mother and father because each one shows God's love in a special way. The family that prays together stays together, and if they stay together they will love one another as God has loved each one of them. And works of love are always works of peace.


And then from her talk to the National Prayer Breakfast which was an incredibly couragous talk on the horrors of abortion.  (In her talk she spoke against abortion and said in front of the Clintons, "Please don't kill the child. I want the child. Please give me the child.)  I want to have a couragous love like her!  This next quote was simple but true.  How bizarre the plight of rich purposeless teens must look to the outside world.  

"I was surprised in the West to see so many young boys and girls given to drugs. And I tried to find out why. Why is it like that, when those in the West have so many more things than those in the East? And the answer was: 'Because there is no one in the family to receive them.' Our children depend on us for everything - their health, their nutrition, their security, their coming to know and love God. For all of this, they look to us with trust, hope and expectation. But often father and mother are so busy they have no time for their children, or perhaps they are not even married or have given up on their marriage. So their children go to the streets and get involved in drugs or other things. We are talking of love of the child, which is were love and peace must begin. These are the things that break peace."


We have in our charge God's precious, dear daughters and son.  We all can take a deep breath.  Our kids don't need a perfect cupcake decorating Martha Stewart mother.  They don't need a cruise-ship, fun-ship nostalgic childhood, but a mother and father listening to and in love with Jesus, loving them passionately and fierce for their minds and hearts. 

Active Mothering

I love this free ebook from the Simply Charlotte Mason website.  http://simplycharlottemason.com/books/smooth-easy-days-with-charlotte-mason/




Since so much of a mother's job feels like putting out fires, hurrying from one emergency to another, sometimes we forget that the reason why we are intensely focused on raising our children is because we have the opportunity to raise people of character.  The question is, how do we do that actively instead of passively just hoping that it will happen? 

Active, not passive mothering: this is my quest.  One answer is by building character-building habits into our children.  Charlotte Mason talked about  introducing and focusing on a new habit every 6 weeks.  At first that seems underwhelming, but one new habit every six weeks over 10 years adds up to building people of character.  When we first started doing this, I bought a white board for my fridge and wrote the habit we were working on in bold letters and how it would be reinforced.

(As I am writing this, baby is standing behind me playing peekaboo while he "talks" by sticking his tongue in and out of his mouth fast.  He is such a charmer!...so now he is settled into an early morning bath while you and I finish our chat.)

I picked a subject that needed immediate attention:  a peaceful dinner time at which Andrew and I were able to order the amount of focus the children gave to their food.  Basic.  Before dinner started, I reminded them, "Caed and Maddie, what do you need to ask before you can get down?  "Can I get down now please?" "and then what happens?"  "We take our plate over to the sink."  "That's right.  Good thinking."    What character are we working on?  Cleanliness, being people of focus and obedience...it was just what was most needed at the time.  Right now we are working on keeping our shoes and coats at the front door as the winter season begins. I give a gentle remind er when we are still in the car what they need to be thinking about when they walk in.  Again, right now we are working on remedial stuff.

The question is, how can we parent, helping our children to make necessary connections and becoming independant little people of character...without becoming the nagging overparenting mother?

Slowly.  Deliberately.  Actively.

Anyone else have any great ideas or resources for active parenting?  If we are going to make the building of the next generation one of our major life goals, we need to do it with a focus on active mothering and teach eachother how to give our children the best possible chance for an obedient, joyful life in Christ.

Now everyone is awake, cuddled on the bathroom floor and it is time to begin another active homeschooling day.

I love this quote.

There is a particular danger in the modern attitude in which both people face the outer world, both spend their time in outer things.  This leaves the inner world unprotected and many dangers creep into the household through this unprotected quarter.  Children are particularly vulnerable to this unprotectedness.

From SHE by Dr. Robert Johnson

My Sabbath Yesterday

Why do I Sabbath?  Joy. This picture was taken from my phone around 12:15pm.  I just wish I could share with you the gentle sound of Lake Michigan lapping the shore, the smell of the hot seagrass and the sun warming the stress right out of me. 

A day off (mine begins at noon and goes to around 9pm on Tuesdays) gives me time to play, to think, and to process.  I discover moments of silence. Whatever the Lord is inviting me into, I spend extra time learning and focusing on that subject.  It's our date time!  In fact yesterday was a day of victory.  I can't tell you how thankful I am to the Lord that the 1 plus 1 plus 1 that He had been teaching me, finally made its way to an equals 3 in my heart, not just my head. 

Later I worked out, hunted a bargain at TJMaxx, watched Robin Hood (love Maid Marion) and then hung out at Barnes and Noble, coming home with loads of green tea induced energy.

Even without caffeine, the energy continued.  This is one of the reasons I believe in Sabbaths.  I had enough energy to deal with three children in my bed at 3 am last night gasping under blankies through hours of thunder storms.  Eventually Andrew got up to work on his 6AM Bible study, the baby went to sleep and the older two and I had lotion foot massages, trying to giggle through the fear.  The energy didn't stop.  Today I had enough energy to garden and plant the window boxes on the little yellow cottage.

I've had time periods where a weekly Sabbath didn't work, when I was home with a new baby, when I couldn't find a babysitter, and when there was an emergency in the parish.  I always have to hold it lightly. So, I pray.  If a Sabbath is what the Lord wants for me, He will make it happen.  I pray for the health of my babysitter, for the joy of my children during the day that I'm gone, and for wisdom on how God would like me to spend my time.  He knows best how to usher me into rest.

Matthew 11:28-30 (The Message)

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

For some of you this Sabbath idea is just a pipe dream.  You can't imagine how it would be possible.  I invite you, my sister-friend, to just pray about it. 

There are about 85 women who read this blog on a weekly basis coming from all walks of life from all over the world and all of us need refreshment.  Some of you just had babies in the last few months.  Wow.  I love you.  You are in the middle of the beautiful and the messy and the exhausted.  And some of you take care of family members and can't imagine how you would get a few minutes to go to the grocery store by yourself let alone find hours to replenish.  He knows, my dear friend.  He knows your need for deep breaths and quiet, for time of laughter with friends and to have your heart cared for by your Abba.

I invite you to pray and to dream.  What would a day of refreshment look like?  What energizes you?  Cooking, gardening, reading, putting your feet up in a coffee shop with a great novel?  

Do your best to try this just once a month.  Even if you don't have a spouse who understands, find ways to accomplish your time out without help. Exchange babysitting with another mom so that you can have a Sabbath every other week.   And then, next month, comment to tell the other 85 about how it went. 

Need a scriptural basis for what we are doing? Read Lynne Baab's book, "Sabbath Keeping." 

Need inspiration? Read "The Too-Busy Book" by Linda Andersen. (Amazon) You will love my friend's lovely book of encouragement teaching women how to take retreats of all lengths. 


   

Taking a Picture to Help My Short Term Memory...Literally

The tourists are back in town with cameras big and small and today I joined them...out of a pursuit for truth.  I've had a bad attitude lately...and my short-term memory has been lousy.  Essentially I go through the bedtime routine with the new addition of daily baths and I fall exhausted onto the couch, frustrated over a day with annoying children.  And no, they were not annoying and no, it wasn't a bad day.  I just happen to be excellent at focusing on the stress and not the smiles.

Today I decided to use up the memory on my phone by literally taking pictures of our entire day together, the precious moments big and small. 

First picture: Caedmon was inspired to get ready for kindergarten by writing in his new lined notebook.  Madeline followed suit by learning to write a new letter.  Quiet productivity.  Interested learning.  There's nothing better.  Click.

An hour later Madeline came into the kitchen with an armful of boardbooks to read to X-man.  Click...only of course with a short attention span of a 10 month old, a minute too late.  By the time I had grabbed the camera, Madeline was chasing X with said books.  "Look at this one!"

I put Xavier down for morning nap to find that I had a few moments to read.  I downloaded Swiss Family Robinson on my phone and read a few pages of the original to an enrapt Caedmon.  I have no idea how much he comprehended, the language was thick with "said I's" and "personages."  Quality time cuddling on the red couch with my eldest and a book is heaven for an English major.  Click.

After lunch I put X-man into the Kelty backpack and the other two darling towheads into the double stroller and headed downtown for the above view and of course a quick bakery run for Morning Glory muffins.  Click.

Dinner was a picnic at the kids' park with friends.  The weather was sunny with a breeze.  Kids roamed free (sounds like a description of organic chickens:) AND I got to chat with adults while watching sailboats float across the horizon.  Click.

Recently I read that negative thoughts literally release toxic chemicals into the brain and positive thoughts release good hormones.  Wow.  That explains a lot.  So often I get to the end of the day believing a lie, that my life is horrible and whining, "don't I have it so hard!?"    The truth is just the opposite: "Every good and perfect gift has come from above" (James 1:17) I just have an embarrassingly bad short-term memory.  I'm like a child on Christmas morning after the presents have been opened, disappointed she hasn't been given anything special.  

I've decided that the truth is worth fighting for,  I just need a little digital help it to sink in.  I think I'll continue my pursuit of truth tomorrow at the beach.

Where's the Gift in That?

First Ice Cream of the Season

With three kids five and under there's no way not to be overwhelmed.  Really. I have no idea how mothers of more do it.  It is a sun up to sun down work that is mostly physical toughness with a few moments of sweetness thrown in like sugared almonds: consistent discipline, a huge amounts of energy, and meeting lots of physical needs random and otherwise.

I was just getting the hang of mothering when baby #3 came. I was no longer feeling my stress level rise when I thought about getting two out of the house and into carseats. Bedtime was no longer a matter for much prayer, dreaded, feared and finally, after accomplishing, landing in a lump of exhaustion on the couch in front of the tv with a glass of chocolate milk.

Then, we happily upped the ante. I had wanted more than two, had prayed about more than two but was truly surprised by the reality. Whenever babies cross the 20 month threshold, they get much easier and I knew that we had about two years of exhaustion heading our direction.



But, truthfully, I find myself in a contentment tug of war with whatever stage of life I am in. I strain toward the future instead of resting in the present. I recently had about four days with Andrew at diocesan convention with kids at grandparents and easily slid into being able to finish thoughts on my blog, an hour of two of prayer time, daily exercise and adult conversations that were meaty and satisfying.

On coming home I was in a bit of a culture shock. If I get a shower each day, I feel that life is a success. Doing the breakfast dishes before dinner takes a major act of the will and sometimes two or three tries at the thing.  You know how it is.

The point is that I stopped today, plugged into a moment of quiet with God and asked Him how my day should go. (connecting to the Vine) He showed me the beautiful face of my daughter enrapt with a squirrel out the window, the profile of my son working on his first letter at the computer "I luv u mom" and my heart melted. I slowed down. So, I'm not going to be able to get as much done today, but, I will get to enjoy the Gifts in my midst.
 
We have lovely friends at our church who always tell me that they were surpised by a statement that I use: "there's a gift in that."    Whenever I share a personal story, no matter how bleak, there's always a gift to receive from God.  They repeat it back to me now when sharing the gifts of God in the midst of their messy, imperfect lives. 
 
He can redeem and bring gifts into whatever frustrating situation we find ourselves in.
 
So, my dear, now I ask you..."where is the gift in that?" 

In fact, I ask you, do you want to leave this timeperiod, this hardship without the gift?  Beg God to give you the gift of this place, to mature you, to show you how you need to grow.  Don't leave this difficulty without more. 

Consider it pure joy, my sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverence.  Perseverence must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  James 1:2-4

Go deeper:  Much of what we need to learn and grow can only be unlocked through the Word and through God's person, Himself.  Do a keyword search on an attribute of God on http://www.biblegateway.com/  Come back to the computer for a few seconds all day long and read the next verse.  This is one of the greatest faith, hope and trust builders I know...let alone a way to constantly abide in Him.

"Be still and know that I am God."  Psalm 46:10

Mommy Vitamin of the Day

My mom's friend said this profound nugget: "My friends always are saying that they wished they had spent more time playing with their children.  None of them wish they had spent more time cleaning."

I always wish I had Mary Poppins' fingers and could clean up the house with a snap.

Acceptance with Joy

Tonight I confessed to my Bible study girls around our little table that sometimes my heart isn't in mothering. I was speaking from experience. Read: today. Last night, I stayed up seriously contacts-glued-to-my-eyes late. Then, my wake up call was Xavier's hungry cry...thus, no quiet time and thus, no Perspective. And all day I was tired, craving sugar and a bit short.

I DO have a point. I promise.

All that to say that I NEED my heart to be in mothering! The days I want to shut the kids up with artificial babysitters (read Tag and tv) are the days that no ones' real needs are met.

Recently I listened to John Eldredge's Desire conference which is free on his podcast itunes site for download. (Get thee hence. AMAZING. I've mentioned it in another post.) He entreated us to live with our hearts alive and to have vocations spring out of that. Yes, But. Some of us are called to vocations that are dear to the Lord's heart like mothering which sometimes is more a test of endurance and rarely makes my heart skip faster. (Though come on Summer...cuddling with the little creatures on the couch tonight was definitely a sweet moment.)

A dear older mother I know from another church listened to me last September share about the 1 and 4 am feedings. "Does he go right to sleep?" "Yes, thank goodness" "Oh" she smiled, "then it just gives you enough time for a quick little cuddle." Hmmmmm I was sleep deprived and exhausted on many levels. In response to her sweetness I have to say my not so Christian first inclination was to react snarkily and then I determined that a change in my mindset would indeed make life easier. "Take every thought captive" and all that.

I want my heart to be engaged in mothering. I NEED my heart engaged in mothering.

There's a little yellow flower that Much Afraid in Hinds Feet on High Places meets in the Valley of Loneliness (or some such place) who has grown right up under a drainpipe, catching a drink from the occassional drip. Much Afraid is surprised to find a lovely flower in a desert and asks, "What is your name, little flower?" The flower replies, "I am Acceptance with Joy."

Acceptance with Joy. That can only be a purely supernatural way of being. Acceptance with Joy can only come through the Holy Spirit, a type of transmutation of fruit, an apple/pomegranate/plaintain: peace, joy, gentleness, etc.

Yes. Sometimes we don't get to choose our circumstances but joy and acceptance I CAN choose. I can choose to lift up my heart along with my little yellow face and look for the drip knowing that if it has come from my Lord, it WILL BE ENOUGH! He is always enough.

I can abide in the Vine and He promised that He will abide in me and there...there is where my life comes from and how my heart will be engaged. And that is not optional. It is essential.

Fighting on the Winning Team

I just finished watching The Blind Side and was struck like everyone else in America by the courage of Michael Oher's white Mama. She was a Champion for her family, marching into the darkness packing heat (in a quilted Chanel purse, no doubt.)

A week ago I met the Blind Side character's African parallel. She entered the store front Kalamazoo Prayer Clinic after us, walked in and sat down purposefully. Without much small talk she went straight to prayer and started to fight for her son. After a few minutes in prayer, we gathered that her son was having a difficult time in school and the teachers were becoming a part of the problem. Her son was losing confidence in his gifts. She prayed down all his opposition the way Sandra Bullock as Leigh Anne Tuohy confronted the drug dealers of inner city Memphis.

She prayed with passion and directness and a week later I still remember this:

She prayed that Christ's blood would cover her son as a protection. Christ's blood, she said, would remind the evil one of his defeat at the cross and his final defeat at the second coming. (Revelations 12:11)

She prayed against those who would try to diminish her son against the will of God. "He is filled with the Holy Spirit and with fire. I pray anyone who touches him against the will of the Father would be burned, and their work turned to ashes."

She prayed in her great African Alto voice using his long African name (that I could never quite catch) that his character would match his name.

With fervor she did battle in that small back room of the prayer clinic until she was prayed out. Her smile afterward said that she knew her Redeemer had heard and was fighting for her. "And how can we pray for you," she asked us when the hard work had been done.

My prayer partner and I got into the car and looked at eachother with triumph, "That boy is going to be just fine," we said at the same time. How could he not be, we wondered aloud with a mama championing him and confident before the throne of heaven. (Hebrews 4:16 Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. NIV)

I want to be her. I don't want to be caught playing the victim in self-pity or angry and cynical. I want to pray without ceasing.

I recently learned to have my husband's back, to pray for him early, as he walks out the front door, and late as he's falling asleep, my hand on his back. I've learned as another fierce mama I know advised me around Christmastime, to go to his Boss first if we are having a disagreement, then wait for the Holy Spirit to work in his heart or be open for the Counselor's work in mine.

I only hope to become like my own mama. Every morning in high school I would walk past my mama's prayer closet/office to the master bathroom to get ready for school. It was a round brick room which used to be a kiln in southern Ohio and was put back up in the same shape. I believe that many a spiritual plan of God's was fired in that space. As I tiptoed passed, she would be on her knees in her robe before her blue couch crying out to God. Often she would look up and say good morning, with tears in her eyes, the sun rising just outside the huge window beside her, putting her in a backlit profile.

These days I have her and my sister to pray with and there is no greater joy. We spend time enjoying God's presence in adoration, bust down walls with repentance between ourselves and the Lord, and then suit up (Ephesians 6:10-) and join the privilege of partnering with Him in prayer.

"The prayers of God's saints are the capital stock of heaven by which God carries on His great work on earth," says Paul Billheimer in Destined for the Throne. This quote scares the bijeebies out of me. Could it be true? It seems that many who have seen the biggest acts of God in history have lived and prayed as if it were so. (You have not because you ask not. James 4:2)

Sometimes I forget when I wake up to three kids bouncing on me at 6:30 in the morning that I need to approach the day fierce and focused. It requires

pajama party with just the girls (oh, and baby too)

What a gift tonight was. I can always tell when there's something wrong with Madeline because she starts getting whiny, talking baby talk and getting ornery with the boys. Today started out bad. The baby talk began as soon as she woke up and I knew we were in for a long day. On the way back from the children's museum I had to discipline her for continually hurting her big brother.

Let me back up. As a baby, Madeline didn't seem to bond with me right away. She was less people oriented then her brothers and I wasn't quite sure how to break through to a personality that always seemed jealous of the attention spent on anyone else. She wanted to be held all the time but would barely show me affection. Hoever, she was extremely affectionate with her nana and auntie whenever they were around. And, although she was never a "quiet" child, she never seemed to talk about anything personal. That pattern of behavior continued until I started discovering that one of the keys to Madeline's heart was quality alone time with mom and dad.

This last fall I took her school clothes shopping to get ready for preschool and she perked up, by that evening, she began hugging me more, and even told me a "secret." She went to sleep quiet and peacefully without three trips downstairs to "go to the bathroom."

John and Charles Wesleys' mom, Susanna raised ten children and this is one of the ways she talked about motherhood to her husband in a letter:


"I am a woman, but I am also the mistress of a large family. And though the superior charge of the souls contained in it lies upon you, yet in your long absence I cannot but look upon every soul you leave under my charge as a talent committed to me under a trust. I am not a man nor a minister, yet as a mother and a mistress I felt I ought to do more than I had yet done. I resolved to begin with my own children; in which I observe, the following method: I take such a proportion of time as I can spare every night to discourse with each child apart. On Monday I talk with Molly, on Tuesday with Hetty, Wednesday with Nancy, Thursday with Jacky, Friday with Patty, Saturday with Charles."

I love that. She knew her children's emotional needs, to have mother's full attention for a period of time each week. Surely with only three children, I can do that too.

Tonight was Madeline's. We watched a girly movie, had oreos and milk and then had lotion massages...feet first, hands, faces even and ewww ears? not so good. She got to smell different types of lotion to decide which one was her favorite and then we spent time talking and having quality face to face time. By the end of the night, Madeline was telling secrets in a big girl voice again.

BTW, I love that under "Occupation" for Susanna Wesley in Wikipidia it says: Mother of Methodism. Not a bad gig for someone who didn't know they were helping to launch revival in the Anglican church. :)

A Day of Small Things. Oh Joy.

Love these lyrics from Alli Rogers song: The Day of Small Things

‘Cause I am afraid of believing,
The plans that we make seem so big.
But you’ve shown me that we’re never alone,
and your spirit will stay by our side.
So I won’t despise,
I won’t despise the day,
I won’t despise the day of small things.

I think one of the lies of the enemy is that moms are dispensable...that what we do is small and unimportant. That's what the culture tells us, and frankly on some days that's what my heart tells me. What I used to do and sometimes still get to do feels heavy and important and hard. Somehow changing diapers and making dinner and cleaning up AGAIN feels small and in the disposable category.

But, do you know what I learned a few weeks ago and need to relearn today? Much of this feels small (though I know that in God's eyes it isn't - His economy is different :) but I'm allowed to find joy in the small things. Isn't that silly? Somehow I thought that I wasn't allowed to enjoy that which was simple - had no life or death importance. Maybe you've never experienced this. I think it has to do with that material/spirit split that the gnostics were pushing so hard in the early church. They thought things that had to do with the spirit were the essentials and everything material should be run away from at best, and killed at worst. We've still got some of this thinking in today's theology. That which is spiritual is important, clothes, houses, crocuses and shiny chocolate sheetcakes, not important. This creates a very confusing message for those of us who serve, moms, nurses, etc.

Instead, if I "remember" Eden and a God who created the miraculous milky way as well as the simple wheat and then called both good, I can learn that in God I can lift up the simple moments in my life and rejoice in them. This cuddling of the baby into my belly. It is good. This making a simple bread, bologna and cheese sandwich? It is good. All these small things can be a part of my relationship with God.

Come, Lord Jesus, Come. Come into my small things and fill them with Your Presence, Your joy. This can be Another Day in Paradise.

Mommy Vitamin about cleaning. YUCK!

The most stressful part about mothering for me is the continual cleanup/housework. It feels tedious and gets torn apart faster than I know how to yell at the little Tasmanian devils to undue their trauma. Did I just say that? You should have seen Xavier this morning go from one drawer to another, emptying the contents, spill out two baskets and start terrorizing older siblings all with that animalistic little growl of his...oh yes, and a big smile. I watched all of this while I was doing the breakfast dishes.

So, here's my encouragement of the day. Self-encouragement?

Leave a room better than you found it.

That's all.

Leave each room better than you found it.

Somehow this keeps my perfectionistic tendencies to a minimum and then gives me a little spurt of energy...all while helping me with my discouragement level.

mommy vitamin by one of our founding mothers

"Well, knowledge is a fine thing, and mother Eve thought so; but she smarted so severely for hers, that most of her daughters have been afraid of it since. "
— Abigail Adams

I am embarrassed to admit that I didn't know motherhood took such serious smarts. This was one of my pre-children feminist enlightened mindsets. Motherhood, I thought, wasted the minds of intelligent women. There, confession doesn't always feel good. I had no idea how many day-offs (because I believe that every mother needs one in order to keep her sanity) I would spend in the library and bookstore devouring books about early childhood education, nutrition, smart discipline, and household organization. I HAD NO IDEA that motherhood would take all that I had to give and more.

I believe that the most important time in a mommy's day is in scripture and prayer. There is no way that I can have the love, joy, peace, patience etc. that I need unless I am filled with the Spirit, practicing the Presence and LISTENING to the word of Wisdom God desires to give. The other day I overheard Madeline telling Baby this, "I'm going to tell you a story of a bad little girl, and that bad little girl is me." Wow. Did Madeline really believe that she was bad to the core...and that she was defined by that? I believe that it was the Holy Spirit who quickened my mind to catch those words and then to understand what those words meant to Maddie. I pulled Madeline up on my lap, looked her in the eye and said, "Madeline, you are my good girl. Jesus forgives the bad things that we do and then makes us good girls again. YOU ARE A GOOD GIRL." Her face lit up and said in a high pitched voice, "Good girl. Good girl." I spent the next week telling Maddie that she was my "good girl." Each Much of her whininess and acting out began to stop.

Sometimes it "feels" like my prayer time is empty. I haven't really connected. But, it always whets my appetite for more. It makes me thirsty. The kids wake up. I put on my favorite Sara Groves pandora station or Fernando Ortega station and I keep praying through the morning. Other times I have been given wisdom right in the middle of my prayer times for that day's mothering. Sure, sometimes it is a short 5 minutes because of baby's early wake up cry, but always VITAL to prime my listening-to-God ability for the rest of the toddler-paced day.

Mommy vitamin by anonymous writer

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England ..

Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in.

I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself.

I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.'

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe ..

I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:

'To My Dear Friend, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:

No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.

These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.

They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.

The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.

It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life.

It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.

The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'you're going to love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals.. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right.

And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Mommy Vitamin

A Favorite:

"To be Queen Elizabeth within a definite area, deciding sales, banquets, labours, and holidays; to be Whitely within a certain area, providing toys, boots, cakes and books; to be Aristotle within a certain area, teaching morals, manners, theology, and hygiene; I can imagine how this can exhaust the mind, but I cannot imagine how it could narrow it. How can it be a large career to tell other people about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one's own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone and narrow to be everything to someone? No, a woman's function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute."
— G.K. Chesterton

Days Off

When was your last day off? Motherhood and whatever else you do are more than full time jobs! What replenishes you? How do you get refilled in order to have something to give again?

My dears, we need to find ways to lie fallow in order to be planted again and actually yield something nutritious. Give up false mommy guilt and get a babysitter for at least four hours a week not in order to clean that bathroom more perfectly, but to become a human being for a while, replenish, read, pray, listen to your music loudly (not the Backyardigans), enjoy a sunset, go shopping. The truth is that I lose all perspective if I don't have days off. (I call them Sabbaths in order to justify them to myself on my more people-pleasing days.) I start spinning out of control like a top and forget what my priorities are, worse, I lose touch with God.

JoAnne Weaver in Having a Mary Heart in a Martha world say that she has found a formula for intimacy with God. I hate formulas but this so works:

Bible + Prayer + Time = Intimacy with God.

If I don't give time somehow it all stays on the surface and doesn't sink in.

Anyways, find your own Sabbath and clear out space for it...I'll see you later... I'm going Goodwill shopping and used bookstore hopping today. Happy hunting.

Mommy Vitamin of the Day

Elaine Heffner:
Women do not have to sacrifice personhood if they are mothers. They do not have to sacrifice motherhood in order to be persons.

True Liberation