Shedding the Dragonskin of Discontent

I got more emails and facebook comments from my last contentment exercise than any other post and thought, hmmm, maybe my dear luminous friends have an issue with this like I do.  So, here is a bit of my story with discontent.  We'll keep talking about it bit by bit over the next few weeks.  Have courage, my sister, to look into the abyss of your own soul, as one early desert father would say, and be willing to roll up your sleeves with the help of the Holy Spirit.  Freedom takes courage.

A few years ago the Lord pulled back one of the dragon skins (like Eustace in the Voyage of the Dawntreader by CS Lewis) of my heart and revealed a thick skin of discontent.  One of the major culprits? I always looked forward toward something else that would make "it all better" a pot at the end of the rainbow if anything is!  The future certainly would be better than this, I thought.  Unfortunately, I was so busy dwelling on what life wasn't giving me, that I would miss the gift of the present. 

I read "Calm My Anxious Heart" by Linda Dillow and loved her chapters on contentment.  Those chapters revealed how thick discontent really was through my everyday life.  I woke up holding discontent tight like a treasure, wore feelings of resentment like armor as I cleaned, and it spewed out of my mouth when I was chatting with friends.  Not too pleasant a dragonly sight.  My husband was finding me scaly and difficult.  This was a thick dragon skin that demanded more than just a confession.  It had to be ripped off scale by scale by God himself.

I needed my mind renewed by Truth Himself...given through the Word and as we "reasoned together" in a journal.  Scripture memorization was one of the only ways I could find that would "slay" the dragon skin.  Then, each day I kept a contentment journal.  This issue created too much havoc in my family as well as my own heart to just peak in at it, forget it and still live in the mud.  I know that if I don't learn something now, I will end up learning it again.  I wasn't going to miss this opportunity. 

If you feel the same way, go get "Calm my Anxious Heart" and read the contentment chapters then find yourself a pretty journal with empty pages to encourage your conversation with the Lord over this issue.  If you are like me, this dragon skin will be thicker than you imagined. 

On the inside cover of the journal write Philippians 4:11-13 slowly committing it to memory: 

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
And what was his secret?

I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.

Couple that scripture with Ephesians 1 that says that the same power that raised Christ from the dead is available to us!  Wow.  That's potent resurrection-creating stuff!  I want that in my life!

Just that scripture alone has the power to slip many dragon scales from tender skin. 

You'll find after you have shed the thick dragon skin of discontentment that you are more luminous than ever.  We can worship much better when we aren't complaining all the time!

My Sabbath Yesterday

Why do I Sabbath?  Joy. This picture was taken from my phone around 12:15pm.  I just wish I could share with you the gentle sound of Lake Michigan lapping the shore, the smell of the hot seagrass and the sun warming the stress right out of me. 

A day off (mine begins at noon and goes to around 9pm on Tuesdays) gives me time to play, to think, and to process.  I discover moments of silence. Whatever the Lord is inviting me into, I spend extra time learning and focusing on that subject.  It's our date time!  In fact yesterday was a day of victory.  I can't tell you how thankful I am to the Lord that the 1 plus 1 plus 1 that He had been teaching me, finally made its way to an equals 3 in my heart, not just my head. 

Later I worked out, hunted a bargain at TJMaxx, watched Robin Hood (love Maid Marion) and then hung out at Barnes and Noble, coming home with loads of green tea induced energy.

Even without caffeine, the energy continued.  This is one of the reasons I believe in Sabbaths.  I had enough energy to deal with three children in my bed at 3 am last night gasping under blankies through hours of thunder storms.  Eventually Andrew got up to work on his 6AM Bible study, the baby went to sleep and the older two and I had lotion foot massages, trying to giggle through the fear.  The energy didn't stop.  Today I had enough energy to garden and plant the window boxes on the little yellow cottage.

I've had time periods where a weekly Sabbath didn't work, when I was home with a new baby, when I couldn't find a babysitter, and when there was an emergency in the parish.  I always have to hold it lightly. So, I pray.  If a Sabbath is what the Lord wants for me, He will make it happen.  I pray for the health of my babysitter, for the joy of my children during the day that I'm gone, and for wisdom on how God would like me to spend my time.  He knows best how to usher me into rest.

Matthew 11:28-30 (The Message)

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

For some of you this Sabbath idea is just a pipe dream.  You can't imagine how it would be possible.  I invite you, my sister-friend, to just pray about it. 

There are about 85 women who read this blog on a weekly basis coming from all walks of life from all over the world and all of us need refreshment.  Some of you just had babies in the last few months.  Wow.  I love you.  You are in the middle of the beautiful and the messy and the exhausted.  And some of you take care of family members and can't imagine how you would get a few minutes to go to the grocery store by yourself let alone find hours to replenish.  He knows, my dear friend.  He knows your need for deep breaths and quiet, for time of laughter with friends and to have your heart cared for by your Abba.

I invite you to pray and to dream.  What would a day of refreshment look like?  What energizes you?  Cooking, gardening, reading, putting your feet up in a coffee shop with a great novel?  

Do your best to try this just once a month.  Even if you don't have a spouse who understands, find ways to accomplish your time out without help. Exchange babysitting with another mom so that you can have a Sabbath every other week.   And then, next month, comment to tell the other 85 about how it went. 

Need a scriptural basis for what we are doing? Read Lynne Baab's book, "Sabbath Keeping." 

Need inspiration? Read "The Too-Busy Book" by Linda Andersen. (Amazon) You will love my friend's lovely book of encouragement teaching women how to take retreats of all lengths.