The presence of God is not the same as the sense of the presence of God. The latter may be due to imagination; the former may be attended with no "sensible consolation." The act which engenders a child ought to be, and usually is, attended by pleasure. But it is not the pleasure that produces the child. Where there is pleasure there may be sterility: where there is no pleasure the act may be fertile. And in the spiritual marriage of God and the soul it is the same. It is the actual presence, not the sensation of the presence, of the Holy Ghost which begets Christ in us. The sense of the presence is a super-added gift for which we give thanks when it comes.
CS Lewis in Letters to An American Lady
Monday, May 16, 2011
Friday, May 13, 2011
Prayer conversation about loneliness for God
Last night You gave me the privilege of being on the edge of heaven and hell and healing for the women of our Journey group designed by Terry Wardle at church. As I made a quick run through Wal-Mart at 9 last night after group, I was shaking my head in amazement at Your powerful intervention. I approach each Tuesday night with fear and trembling and You always show up. These women are drawing near to You and You never pull away. You never disappoint. We leaders intercede and watch the Holy Spirit tunnel his way into their newly opened doors. We watch them begin to believe that You love them and redeem their memories that had lied to them that that they were alone and always would be.
So I got home last night exhausted from the ministry and with a bit of an ache of loneliness. Andrew, after putting the kids to sleep, was asleep on the couch and I joined him after putting the groceries in the fridge. I rubbed his back while watching a tv show, his snoring competing for vocal power with the singing contest. I helped him get to bed during a commercial.
After the show was over, still not tired after the adrenaline rush of that night’s ministry time, I surfed the channels. Eventually I found myself hovering over the religious channel which I rarely find satisfying and then it struck me. I realized what I was looking for and turned off the set. I wanted You, pure and unadulterated. No other counterfeit would do. I got my computer out which is how I often journal and simultaneously search scriptures these days and just as I was opening a new document, I heard a huge bang in the nursery upstairs. Then all three started crying. At this moment, I have a choice to make: Frustration or acceptance, anger or love. Sometimes it seems like spiritual warfare when there is immediate interruption of long awaited time with You. I chose love which is easy to do after a night away.
Madeline had fallen off her bed and I found her huddled in that sleep-waking state confused and moaning. I helped her back up on her pink sheets and she quickly cuddled with her blanket. I opened the window and enjoyed the breeze for a moment while whispering to her and running my fingers over her back. The eldest, up on the top bunk, situated himself with his bean-stuffed duck and went back to sleep.
But it was Baby in the adjoining room who kept yelling out for attention. I pushed Madeline’s legs aside, with a ”Good night my little Pearl” in order to care for the littlest one. As I walk through the room, I see Xavi standing up in his bed crying. “Do you need a little mommy time?” “Ya,” he says, with his head down and his eyes still closed. I pick him up in his jammies and blanket and bring him downstairs settling on the couch with this little one cuddled into my body. And then what happened next? The gift of the day. The full Presence of You, came powerfully into my loneliness and filled me with exactly what I had been looking for but was unable in myself to pursue. Waves of love and companionship, joy and rest covered me and I basked like a cat in Your powerful light. The gift that I found in that moment was that I was not able to read, to search the Scriptures or to learn anything which is often an avenue to You though sometimes becomes the idol as well. All I was able to do in that moment of cuddling that precious one who quickly fell asleep next to me, was to enjoy You. I was stuck in the gorgeousness of silence. I couldn’t ruin it by trying like Peter at the Transformation to figure out the “perfect” thing to say, even if I had wanted to, Your presence was too heavy, all-consuming. I had wanted all day to be with You but was unable in myself to accomplish it. I was helpless but came to the God for whom nothing is impossible.
This seems to be one of the answers to the Struggle for that daily, hourly companionship. The truth that I have a hard time living and believing is that You are here. You have promised that You will never leave me or forsake me. LeAnne Payne rightly says that we need to say that to ourselves over and over whether any type of feeling accompanies the truth or not. She wisely taught people that they needed to identify the truth that “You are here” all day long throughout all their ordinary activities.
In fact, I think I hinder You when I feel as if all the stars need to align in order to create the perfect welcome for Your Presence. It seems like all You want to hear is the call of desire, the acknowledgement of hunger and the pursuit. When I acknowledge that I am not enough, that I hunger and thirst for You, that alone seems to open me up to You. The New Living Translation says it this way: “God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.” I need to create a void in order to be filled, to open my ears to listen in order to hear, to open my empty hands in order to receive a gift. One of the secrets of daily companionship is the need to create open spaces which are open only to You. While we are so busy trying to fill ourselves with You, You desire to come as gift, not at our demanding, but at our openness, at our need.
So I got home last night exhausted from the ministry and with a bit of an ache of loneliness. Andrew, after putting the kids to sleep, was asleep on the couch and I joined him after putting the groceries in the fridge. I rubbed his back while watching a tv show, his snoring competing for vocal power with the singing contest. I helped him get to bed during a commercial.
After the show was over, still not tired after the adrenaline rush of that night’s ministry time, I surfed the channels. Eventually I found myself hovering over the religious channel which I rarely find satisfying and then it struck me. I realized what I was looking for and turned off the set. I wanted You, pure and unadulterated. No other counterfeit would do. I got my computer out which is how I often journal and simultaneously search scriptures these days and just as I was opening a new document, I heard a huge bang in the nursery upstairs. Then all three started crying. At this moment, I have a choice to make: Frustration or acceptance, anger or love. Sometimes it seems like spiritual warfare when there is immediate interruption of long awaited time with You. I chose love which is easy to do after a night away.
Madeline had fallen off her bed and I found her huddled in that sleep-waking state confused and moaning. I helped her back up on her pink sheets and she quickly cuddled with her blanket. I opened the window and enjoyed the breeze for a moment while whispering to her and running my fingers over her back. The eldest, up on the top bunk, situated himself with his bean-stuffed duck and went back to sleep.
But it was Baby in the adjoining room who kept yelling out for attention. I pushed Madeline’s legs aside, with a ”Good night my little Pearl” in order to care for the littlest one. As I walk through the room, I see Xavi standing up in his bed crying. “Do you need a little mommy time?” “Ya,” he says, with his head down and his eyes still closed. I pick him up in his jammies and blanket and bring him downstairs settling on the couch with this little one cuddled into my body. And then what happened next? The gift of the day. The full Presence of You, came powerfully into my loneliness and filled me with exactly what I had been looking for but was unable in myself to pursue. Waves of love and companionship, joy and rest covered me and I basked like a cat in Your powerful light. The gift that I found in that moment was that I was not able to read, to search the Scriptures or to learn anything which is often an avenue to You though sometimes becomes the idol as well. All I was able to do in that moment of cuddling that precious one who quickly fell asleep next to me, was to enjoy You. I was stuck in the gorgeousness of silence. I couldn’t ruin it by trying like Peter at the Transformation to figure out the “perfect” thing to say, even if I had wanted to, Your presence was too heavy, all-consuming. I had wanted all day to be with You but was unable in myself to accomplish it. I was helpless but came to the God for whom nothing is impossible.
This seems to be one of the answers to the Struggle for that daily, hourly companionship. The truth that I have a hard time living and believing is that You are here. You have promised that You will never leave me or forsake me. LeAnne Payne rightly says that we need to say that to ourselves over and over whether any type of feeling accompanies the truth or not. She wisely taught people that they needed to identify the truth that “You are here” all day long throughout all their ordinary activities.
In fact, I think I hinder You when I feel as if all the stars need to align in order to create the perfect welcome for Your Presence. It seems like all You want to hear is the call of desire, the acknowledgement of hunger and the pursuit. When I acknowledge that I am not enough, that I hunger and thirst for You, that alone seems to open me up to You. The New Living Translation says it this way: “God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.” I need to create a void in order to be filled, to open my ears to listen in order to hear, to open my empty hands in order to receive a gift. One of the secrets of daily companionship is the need to create open spaces which are open only to You. While we are so busy trying to fill ourselves with You, You desire to come as gift, not at our demanding, but at our openness, at our need.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Maundy Thursday Sermon
Tonight by humbling himself before his disciples, Jesus gives a command to serve each other as we have seen him serve his disciples…but in doing this, Jesus, (the one who the next night is about to give his very existence for the salvation of the world) teaches us the ultimate lifestyle of grace.
He teaches us two main things and they are interwoven: service and being served, loving big and risking all as well as receiving the big love of others. He teaches us about humbling ourselves and being willing to get dirty as well as humbling ourselves to let our own dirt wiped off.
Yet, what is that about…that we feel that we shouldn’t come to church unless we are “fine, thank you.” Sometimes we believe that we are only allowed in church if we have had a spiritual pedicure…we’ve tidied ourselves up, clipped our toenails and put on our especially sweet smelling shoes.
Do you hear this? Jesus, who died for us while we were still sinners teaches us to get in there…to get our hands dirty with each other (imperfect, dirty, sinful people) and be the ultimate community of grace.
Lets set the scene…
On the night before He died, Jesus stripped down to just his undergarments, put a towel around his waist, found a servant’s basin of water and knelt down to wash the feet of his disciples commanding them to do the same for each other…
Washing feet in those days was not a pretty sight…beyond the dust and dirt of the roads, there were road apples and the entire lack of a true sewer system. Feet truly stank. There was nothing nice to be said about the way the disciples’ feet had entered the upper room after a journey from Bethany.
Jesus had brought into his inner circle 12 men who like us were wounded, imperfect, sinful, uncaring and a jumble of humanity, just waiting to explode. There were those who were trying to climb over each other’s shoulder to try to get ahead (who would be the greatest in heaven?) along with the marginalized, the hungry next to the betrayers. He had eaten with and taught with, traveled with and slept in the same room with a man who had been a tax collector, a collaborator with the roman oppressive government as well as one who had been a rebel and asked them to become church…to love one another.
They were asked to love one another with all their foibles and wounds, their imperfections and failures. Their only commonality? They were all made in the image of God…
My daughter came to me recently while I was reading to her brother and placed a Snow White sticker on my sweater, just where a name tag would be stuck and said, “Mommy, you are a princess of the Most High God.”
I wish we all could wear stickers like that in church…you, my friend are a daughter of the Most High God…and you, my friend, you are a son, a Prince of the Most High God, adopted, loved, and accepted entirely as you are with an inheritance from your Abba Father that is immense! You are covered with His righteousness and nothing surprises him about you. Nothing, not even your sins and failures shock him. He knows you and loves you. Through the work of Jesus Christ which you have accepted, You are complete through union with Christ and forgiven. We are all made in the image of God, not a mistake.
You, my friends are desired by the God of the Universe to be His children. Our adoption ceremony? A cross and the wounds of forgiveness and a baptism, a saying yes, I want all you have to give, God.
We are all made in the image of God and desired children of the Most High.
Yet, what is it about church that makes us afraid to take that next step of vulnerability?
We are called to be grace-filled…overflowing with grace and shaken up with the truth of God’s grace in our lives…that we are sinners but who know that there is more of the story…that because of the cross and resurrection…we have a hope and a future.
“for I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord in Jeremiah, plans to give you a hope and a future.”
Washing each others feet is more than just a nice image of servanthood, it is Jesus way of teaching us to get real with eachother…vulnerable, authentic and to show love to one who may need hope, encouragement, a little cleaning up…a little healthy correction, big love, freedom to express the pain of daily existence in a world that is not heaven yet.
To do all this with or without words- being willing to risk offering not just what we have to give but listening to what God desires to give, to be His hands, his feet, His Voice in the world...to risk getting dirty in the muck of each others lives.
TRANSITION
the great tragedy of God’s heart..that I know just breaks His heart…Churches are notorious for making people who know they are sinners feel uncomfortable.
“I’m fine” actually hurts the community because we believe that we need to have it altogether to be in church…and when we believe that, we subconsciously are posting a sign above the door of our church, saying, “Only perfect people are welcome.”
What a crushing blow to our Christ, whose hands and feet we are supposed to be in this earth…The Jesus who died while we were still sinners
Jesus said that it was the sick that needed a doctor, and now, the dirty who need a foot washing…right before his death, he reminds the disciples that this humbling and this grace-living is their job.
The Pharisees were the ones in the Jewish community who pretended they were perfect…who had everything all figured out. It was that very self-righteous thought that they had it all figured out, thank you, that closed them off from the grace of God, because only the receptive …only the open and needy can receive the gift of grace.
So Jesus called them whitewashed tombs…filled with death on the inside, pretending with a pretty exterior that there was not a stench.
This my friends, in church, with our small groups, is where we need to be willing to show our warts and rough heels, our chipped toenails and imperfections.
“Confess your sins to each other and you will be healed.”
In Journey, we have been shocked at the amount of beautiful community that has been created. We’ve all been real with our stuff, supporting each other and listening and offering true life, while at the same time being extremely aware of our own utter need for Jesus, our own hunger to get out of our prisons of sin, our own failures. I came home last week and told Andrew that I believe everyone should do Journey before we are allowed to mix in the world…our early wounds need to be healed so they don’t geyser up into a painful life any longer, our lies need to be silenced by truth so that we don’t react by taking offense so easily when we get hurt.
Vulnerability has not hurt us, it has ushered in victory. The very command to wash each other’s feet tells us that we are going to have dirty feet and that they will need to be exposed in order to be washed.
The church was meant to be a place where we are washed, not given a new set of rules to live by, but a new relationship with Christ and with each other to be transformed by
The smoothest stones are the ones which have a chance to rub against other stones and get the rough edges rubbed off. But it hurts sometimes. There are wounds which can only be exposed with people who will not judge you and will not go anywhere when they see the real you. The church is a place where we should be willing to commit…to provide the best greenhouse for the Kingdom…a place where grace is the answer to heal our selfishness and utter need to self-protect.
This commitment was a huge revelation to me in college when we found a church that God was calling us to commit to but which included lots of people that rubbed me the wrong way…one guy was OCD and found in liturgy a type of bizarre shelter from the rest of the world and let us all know when we weren’t following the rules perfectly…another couple had so much immaturity that the man could barely hold an intelligent conversation. The rest of us were coming with emotional wounds, imperfect families and experiences of church where most of us bolted at discomfort, shoppers with our own agenda and that prevalent but normal…belief that the church served us. We prayed in each others’ homes, we ate at each others’ tables, we sinned and shared, failed each other and asked forgiveness and got back up again, we opened our hearts and truly learned to be church. It was a revelation. It was a picture that will forever stay in my heart. We were imperfect and that was ok, but we were church and there was grace. We were all working out our salvation with fear and trembling knowing we could not do it without the full body of Christ, fully engaged, without the hand across the aisle, the foot sitting up in the front, the mouth speaking truth at the altar…the wisdom of the Spirit moving through the whole church.
Acts says, “They committed themselves to the apostles’ teaching, to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer…”
The early church ate together, prayed together, learned together and lifted up the wine and bread together, humbling themselves to love big, even when it meant risking getting dirty. This, my dear friends, is our calling too, to get our hands in there and risk loving big, to risk opening our arms to imperfect people just like ourselves.
He teaches us two main things and they are interwoven: service and being served, loving big and risking all as well as receiving the big love of others. He teaches us about humbling ourselves and being willing to get dirty as well as humbling ourselves to let our own dirt wiped off.
Yet, what is that about…that we feel that we shouldn’t come to church unless we are “fine, thank you.” Sometimes we believe that we are only allowed in church if we have had a spiritual pedicure…we’ve tidied ourselves up, clipped our toenails and put on our especially sweet smelling shoes.
Do you hear this? Jesus, who died for us while we were still sinners teaches us to get in there…to get our hands dirty with each other (imperfect, dirty, sinful people) and be the ultimate community of grace.
Lets set the scene…
On the night before He died, Jesus stripped down to just his undergarments, put a towel around his waist, found a servant’s basin of water and knelt down to wash the feet of his disciples commanding them to do the same for each other…
Washing feet in those days was not a pretty sight…beyond the dust and dirt of the roads, there were road apples and the entire lack of a true sewer system. Feet truly stank. There was nothing nice to be said about the way the disciples’ feet had entered the upper room after a journey from Bethany.
Jesus had brought into his inner circle 12 men who like us were wounded, imperfect, sinful, uncaring and a jumble of humanity, just waiting to explode. There were those who were trying to climb over each other’s shoulder to try to get ahead (who would be the greatest in heaven?) along with the marginalized, the hungry next to the betrayers. He had eaten with and taught with, traveled with and slept in the same room with a man who had been a tax collector, a collaborator with the roman oppressive government as well as one who had been a rebel and asked them to become church…to love one another.
They were asked to love one another with all their foibles and wounds, their imperfections and failures. Their only commonality? They were all made in the image of God…
My daughter came to me recently while I was reading to her brother and placed a Snow White sticker on my sweater, just where a name tag would be stuck and said, “Mommy, you are a princess of the Most High God.”
I wish we all could wear stickers like that in church…you, my friend are a daughter of the Most High God…and you, my friend, you are a son, a Prince of the Most High God, adopted, loved, and accepted entirely as you are with an inheritance from your Abba Father that is immense! You are covered with His righteousness and nothing surprises him about you. Nothing, not even your sins and failures shock him. He knows you and loves you. Through the work of Jesus Christ which you have accepted, You are complete through union with Christ and forgiven. We are all made in the image of God, not a mistake.
You, my friends are desired by the God of the Universe to be His children. Our adoption ceremony? A cross and the wounds of forgiveness and a baptism, a saying yes, I want all you have to give, God.
We are all made in the image of God and desired children of the Most High.
Yet, what is it about church that makes us afraid to take that next step of vulnerability?
We are called to be grace-filled…overflowing with grace and shaken up with the truth of God’s grace in our lives…that we are sinners but who know that there is more of the story…that because of the cross and resurrection…we have a hope and a future.
“for I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord in Jeremiah, plans to give you a hope and a future.”
Washing each others feet is more than just a nice image of servanthood, it is Jesus way of teaching us to get real with eachother…vulnerable, authentic and to show love to one who may need hope, encouragement, a little cleaning up…a little healthy correction, big love, freedom to express the pain of daily existence in a world that is not heaven yet.
To do all this with or without words- being willing to risk offering not just what we have to give but listening to what God desires to give, to be His hands, his feet, His Voice in the world...to risk getting dirty in the muck of each others lives.
TRANSITION
the great tragedy of God’s heart..that I know just breaks His heart…Churches are notorious for making people who know they are sinners feel uncomfortable.
“I’m fine” actually hurts the community because we believe that we need to have it altogether to be in church…and when we believe that, we subconsciously are posting a sign above the door of our church, saying, “Only perfect people are welcome.”
What a crushing blow to our Christ, whose hands and feet we are supposed to be in this earth…The Jesus who died while we were still sinners
Jesus said that it was the sick that needed a doctor, and now, the dirty who need a foot washing…right before his death, he reminds the disciples that this humbling and this grace-living is their job.
The Pharisees were the ones in the Jewish community who pretended they were perfect…who had everything all figured out. It was that very self-righteous thought that they had it all figured out, thank you, that closed them off from the grace of God, because only the receptive …only the open and needy can receive the gift of grace.
So Jesus called them whitewashed tombs…filled with death on the inside, pretending with a pretty exterior that there was not a stench.
This my friends, in church, with our small groups, is where we need to be willing to show our warts and rough heels, our chipped toenails and imperfections.
“Confess your sins to each other and you will be healed.”
In Journey, we have been shocked at the amount of beautiful community that has been created. We’ve all been real with our stuff, supporting each other and listening and offering true life, while at the same time being extremely aware of our own utter need for Jesus, our own hunger to get out of our prisons of sin, our own failures. I came home last week and told Andrew that I believe everyone should do Journey before we are allowed to mix in the world…our early wounds need to be healed so they don’t geyser up into a painful life any longer, our lies need to be silenced by truth so that we don’t react by taking offense so easily when we get hurt.
Vulnerability has not hurt us, it has ushered in victory. The very command to wash each other’s feet tells us that we are going to have dirty feet and that they will need to be exposed in order to be washed.
The church was meant to be a place where we are washed, not given a new set of rules to live by, but a new relationship with Christ and with each other to be transformed by
The smoothest stones are the ones which have a chance to rub against other stones and get the rough edges rubbed off. But it hurts sometimes. There are wounds which can only be exposed with people who will not judge you and will not go anywhere when they see the real you. The church is a place where we should be willing to commit…to provide the best greenhouse for the Kingdom…a place where grace is the answer to heal our selfishness and utter need to self-protect.
This commitment was a huge revelation to me in college when we found a church that God was calling us to commit to but which included lots of people that rubbed me the wrong way…one guy was OCD and found in liturgy a type of bizarre shelter from the rest of the world and let us all know when we weren’t following the rules perfectly…another couple had so much immaturity that the man could barely hold an intelligent conversation. The rest of us were coming with emotional wounds, imperfect families and experiences of church where most of us bolted at discomfort, shoppers with our own agenda and that prevalent but normal…belief that the church served us. We prayed in each others’ homes, we ate at each others’ tables, we sinned and shared, failed each other and asked forgiveness and got back up again, we opened our hearts and truly learned to be church. It was a revelation. It was a picture that will forever stay in my heart. We were imperfect and that was ok, but we were church and there was grace. We were all working out our salvation with fear and trembling knowing we could not do it without the full body of Christ, fully engaged, without the hand across the aisle, the foot sitting up in the front, the mouth speaking truth at the altar…the wisdom of the Spirit moving through the whole church.
Acts says, “They committed themselves to the apostles’ teaching, to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer…”
The early church ate together, prayed together, learned together and lifted up the wine and bread together, humbling themselves to love big, even when it meant risking getting dirty. This, my dear friends, is our calling too, to get our hands in there and risk loving big, to risk opening our arms to imperfect people just like ourselves.
Monday, May 9, 2011
John Wesley's Radical Daily Prayer
John Wesley's Covenant Daily Prayer:
I am no longer my own, but yours.
Put me to what you will, rank me with whom you will;
put me to doing, put me to suffering.
Let me be employed by you or laid aside by you,
enabled for you or brought low by you.
Let me be full, let me be empty.
Let me have all things, let me have nothing.
I freely and heartily yield all things
to your pleasure and disposal.
And now, O glorious and blessed God,
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit,
you are mine, and I am yours. So be it.
And the covenant which I have made on earth,
let it be ratified in heaven.
Amen.
I am no longer my own, but yours.
Put me to what you will, rank me with whom you will;
put me to doing, put me to suffering.
Let me be employed by you or laid aside by you,
enabled for you or brought low by you.
Let me be full, let me be empty.
Let me have all things, let me have nothing.
I freely and heartily yield all things
to your pleasure and disposal.
And now, O glorious and blessed God,
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit,
you are mine, and I am yours. So be it.
And the covenant which I have made on earth,
let it be ratified in heaven.
Amen.
The Cloud of Unknowing on loving God
"He may well be loved, but not thought. By love can he be caught and held, but by thinking never."
Orthodox Way pg 17
Orthodox Way pg 17
St. John Chrysostom on what happens when we pray for our own needs
By prayer the soul is borne up to heaven and in a marvelous way embraces the Lord. This meeting is like that of an infant crying on its mother, and seeking the best of milk. The soul longs for its own needs and what it receives is better than anything to be seen in the world.Prayer is a precious way of communicating with God, it gladdens the soul and gives repose to its affections. You should not think of prayer as being a matter of words. It is a desire for God, an indescribable devotion, not of human origin, but the gift of God's grace. As Saint Paul says: we do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with sighs too deep for words.St. John Chrysostom Sermon #6 on Prayer
Anyone who receives from the Lord the gift of this type of prayer possesses a richness that is not to be taken from him, a heavenly food filling up the soul. Once he has tasted this food, he is set alight by an eternal desire for the Lord, the fiercest of fires lighting up his soul.
To set about this prayer, paint the house of your soul with modesty and lowliness and make it splendid with the light of justice. Adorn it with the beaten gold of good works and, for walls and stones, embellish it assiduously with faith and generosity. Above all, place prayer on top of this house as its roof so that the complete building may be ready for the Lord. Thus he will be received in a splendid royal house and by grace his image will already be settled in your soul.
Anyone who receives from the Lord the gift of this type of prayer possesses a richness that is not to be taken from him, a heavenly food filling up the soul. Once he has tasted this food, he is set alight by an eternal desire for the Lord, the fiercest of fires lighting up his soul.
To set about this prayer, paint the house of your soul with modesty and lowliness and make it splendid with the light of justice. Adorn it with the beaten gold of good works and, for walls and stones, embellish it assiduously with faith and generosity. Above all, place prayer on top of this house as its roof so that the complete building may be ready for the Lord. Thus he will be received in a splendid royal house and by grace his image will already be settled in your soul.
Why being poor in spirit is essential for the trip
What does it mean to hold out my hands empty, poor in spirit? For this reformed follower of the American way, radical conversion. Poverty of spirit means clarity. I am poor, small, and easily lose my footing following the wrong path…any other belief in my own orientation skills is just a lie. But, and here’s the difference to why poverty of spirit is so utterly freeing in comparison with my usual self-reliance, the God of the Universe strides beside me. The inheritance of the saints, the power of the Universe, the joyful, eternal Gift-Giver is located within the Person always present. Here’s the working image: I am Lucy from CS Lewis Narnia Chronicles with her hands intertwined in the mane of Aslan, walking confidently, purposefully into the world. Never alone. Not ever alone.
Life, Way, Truth, Bread, Light, Peace, Creator and Re-Creator, …solid, unchanging, wave-calmer. He is here.
Take a moment to breathe in that game-changer. He is here. My healthy poverty is knowing that any other form of Life not coming from abiding in Him is counterfeit, any other bread moldy, any other water, polluted, any other truth, just embarrassing elvis-imitator mimicry.
My Father encouraged me to put a for-sale sign outside of my current self-reliant life, move down the street to a big welcome and curl up to dwell in the God of the Universe.
This is what this book is about: the for-sale sign, the moving and the path, sometimes rocky… of discovering that finding this new home was worth everything.
Life, Way, Truth, Bread, Light, Peace, Creator and Re-Creator, …solid, unchanging, wave-calmer. He is here.
Take a moment to breathe in that game-changer. He is here. My healthy poverty is knowing that any other form of Life not coming from abiding in Him is counterfeit, any other bread moldy, any other water, polluted, any other truth, just embarrassing elvis-imitator mimicry.
My Father encouraged me to put a for-sale sign outside of my current self-reliant life, move down the street to a big welcome and curl up to dwell in the God of the Universe.
This is what this book is about: the for-sale sign, the moving and the path, sometimes rocky… of discovering that finding this new home was worth everything.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Meister Eckhart quote about abiding
Meister eckhart teaches,"He who abides always in a present now, in him does God beget his Son without ceasing".
Orthodox Way, prayer chapter
Orthodox Way, prayer chapter
quote on prayer
There is no life without prayer. Without prayer there is only madness and horror.
Vasilii Rozanov
(Orthodox Way)
Vasilii Rozanov
(Orthodox Way)
quote about collective mental illness
Fascinating way to talk about original sin:From NPR dick Gordon's The Story
Wednesday, April 13 2011 quote:
Adel, Krista's brother in law explained to her about how bizarre life in Libya had become: "We've been lied to (by Gadafi) and been lying to ourselves for so long just to get through the day that as a people we have all developed a collective mental illness."
http://thestory.org/archive/the_story_041311_full_show_new.mp3/view
Title of Program: What's Changing in Egypt?
Wednesday, April 13 2011 quote:
Adel, Krista's brother in law explained to her about how bizarre life in Libya had become: "We've been lied to (by Gadafi) and been lying to ourselves for so long just to get through the day that as a people we have all developed a collective mental illness."
http://thestory.org/archive/the_story_041311_full_show_new.mp3/view
Title of Program: What's Changing in Egypt?
original story of call to communion
It came quiet at first, the whisper of God’s voice, “Come away my beloved,” and I sensed the desire to go deeper. After school, I would often escape to the creek on the west side of our property to wash away the grime and confusion of high school. I called it my trysting place…a place of meeting and loving God. Nothing in those years came easy, but the running water over the cement blocks was the reminder that there was a deeper stream, more important message to live for than collecting boyfriends like charms on a bracelet.
I had watched my mother’s prayer life from a distance and got in the middle of intercessory sessions with my aunts. They warmed me and I leaned in like a camper toward a campfire. God always answered right there, comforting with His presence and then later gifting them with amazing stories of His miraculous work.
Later as I grew up in my evangelical church, I got truly confused. The altar calls drew us in for salvation and then full-time ministry. That was Sunday morning. That was it. The understanding I began to receive was that I was saved in order to serve. Period. The whole Westminister Chatechism I had memorized years earlier in Sunday school that our purpose in life was “to love God and enjoy Him forever,” did not seem to fit the worldview of my new church. I became a worldclass fruit chaser. Winning souls and ministry in the church became my focus and though I still felt the call to be with God and listen to His Voice, I didn’t know how that fit into this vision of Christianity. It felt too slow in this fast-paced sales evangelism world.
Then in college I came upon an ancient strain of Christianity, the Eastern Orthodox, and was mesmerized. The purpose of life, the Eastern Orthodox said, was to be in communion with God. In light of a hunger for union, all matters of legalism quickly melted away. The question of morality then becomes not, “will this action break a law,” but, “ will it break our communion?”
I had watched my mother’s prayer life from a distance and got in the middle of intercessory sessions with my aunts. They warmed me and I leaned in like a camper toward a campfire. God always answered right there, comforting with His presence and then later gifting them with amazing stories of His miraculous work.
Later as I grew up in my evangelical church, I got truly confused. The altar calls drew us in for salvation and then full-time ministry. That was Sunday morning. That was it. The understanding I began to receive was that I was saved in order to serve. Period. The whole Westminister Chatechism I had memorized years earlier in Sunday school that our purpose in life was “to love God and enjoy Him forever,” did not seem to fit the worldview of my new church. I became a worldclass fruit chaser. Winning souls and ministry in the church became my focus and though I still felt the call to be with God and listen to His Voice, I didn’t know how that fit into this vision of Christianity. It felt too slow in this fast-paced sales evangelism world.
Then in college I came upon an ancient strain of Christianity, the Eastern Orthodox, and was mesmerized. The purpose of life, the Eastern Orthodox said, was to be in communion with God. In light of a hunger for union, all matters of legalism quickly melted away. The question of morality then becomes not, “will this action break a law,” but, “ will it break our communion?”
a new direction
So dear friends,
It has been quite a year, a homeschooling year that was not entirely pleasant. Yes, there were pleasant moments teaching my young ones to read and getting to read amazing books about Mother Teresa's obedience and exploring all the children's museums in the area. But, I must admit that life with an active, not quite reasoning little one kept us from any sort of atmosphere of grace. At least it was a constant struggle on my part as I tried to direct education and keep the climbing, exploring, highly-vocal Xman from killing himself.
I set the blog down entirely in part because of the lack of time and in part because I was searching for the new direction that my writing was supposed to take and wanted to listen until it took shape. I'm excited to start working on a book/article? of moment by moment intimacy (communion) with God, the struggle and how it shapes our lives and will be using the blog as a sort of dumping ground. You are welcome to read quotes/ mini stories as I publish them but I will be writing much less on motherhood and the home and more small pieces on prayer and daily spirituality. Please pray for me in this new calling that any fruit that comes out of this work would be part of a balanced life and inspired by the Holy Spirit.
I love you all and have enjoyed our bloggy relationship!
Summer Joy
It has been quite a year, a homeschooling year that was not entirely pleasant. Yes, there were pleasant moments teaching my young ones to read and getting to read amazing books about Mother Teresa's obedience and exploring all the children's museums in the area. But, I must admit that life with an active, not quite reasoning little one kept us from any sort of atmosphere of grace. At least it was a constant struggle on my part as I tried to direct education and keep the climbing, exploring, highly-vocal Xman from killing himself.
I set the blog down entirely in part because of the lack of time and in part because I was searching for the new direction that my writing was supposed to take and wanted to listen until it took shape. I'm excited to start working on a book/article? of moment by moment intimacy (communion) with God, the struggle and how it shapes our lives and will be using the blog as a sort of dumping ground. You are welcome to read quotes/ mini stories as I publish them but I will be writing much less on motherhood and the home and more small pieces on prayer and daily spirituality. Please pray for me in this new calling that any fruit that comes out of this work would be part of a balanced life and inspired by the Holy Spirit.
I love you all and have enjoyed our bloggy relationship!
Summer Joy
Monday, April 18, 2011
gratitude
I'm learning to be more aware of His Presence who is always close. I am learning to trust His timing. I am learning that I am complete through union with Christ (Galatians 2:10) and do not have to keep accumulating things, people and accomplishments in order to have worth. I am learning that I only need to write when it is coming out of His Presence...no more chasing after fruit...only God. I repent of rancid fruit that has come from another source.
I have learned so many things this year and have been doing/leading a 16 week course on inner healing written by Terry Wardle of Ashland Seminary in Ohio. Powerful stuff. I feel like I have a front row seat for Isaiah 61 work: freeing captives and setting prisoners free.
I'm linking to A Holy Experience and her gratitude community.
polished red toenails
daffodils pushing up through snow
the flash of learning in my son's eyes
xavi dancing with Madeline on the kitchen floor
warring in prayer this morning with my sisters
bean plants six inches high
Enough manna for today
Journey women pushing up through fear
Holy Week opportunities to preach
Grace in Andrew's goodnight kiss
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Sermon about God's Power over Defeat
So friends, here is my last sermon which Andrew named on our church's sermon webpage: The Transformed Life. I preach about the power of scripture and how it transforms us as well as how knowing our identity in Christ gives us a whole new outlook. My working image is Lucy walking beside Aslan:
If you've seen Prince Caspian, you were probably entranced like I was by a fierce, innocent Lucy pulling out a dagger against an advancing army. She knew who she was and she knew who was beside her even though the Army could not see Aslan as yet. We too have the power of God present with us, but honestly, how often do we act as if it is true?
Again, here is The Transformed Life:
http://www.holytrinitysh.com/sermons/
Beside it, you will find the link for Life Today which has Beth Moore's teaching on the power of scripture. Wow. Her 4 part series, an Anatomy of a Victory on Life Today has been powerful encouragement to pray scripture.
Then, I reference a handout in my sermon that I have cut and pasted here. One side was a "letter from God" all scripture about His love for us and the other side, a teaching about our identity in Christ, both from the inner healing prayer book, Released to Soar.
I'm so looking forward to all the stories you will share of the victories in your life! God bless!
You may not know me, but I know everything about you (Psalm 139:1). I know when you sit down and when you rise up (Psalm 139:2). I am familiar with all of your ways (Psalm 139:3). Even the hairs on your head are numbered (Matthew 10:29-31). You were made in my image (Genesis 1:27). In me you live, move and have your being (Acts 17:28). You are my offspring (Acts 17:28). I knew you even before you were conceived (Jeremiah 1:4-5). I chose you when I planned creation (Ephesians 1:11-12). You were not a mistake (Psalm 139:15-16). All your days are written in my book (Psalm 139:15-16). I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live (Acts 17:26). You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). I knit you together in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13). I brought you forth on the day you were born (Psalm 71:6).
I have been misrepresented by those who know me (John 8:40-44). I am not distant or angry, but the complete expression of love (1 John 4:16). My desire is to lavish my love on you, simply because you are my child and I am your Father (1 John 3:1). I offer you more than your earthly father ever could (Matthew 7:11). I am the perfect Father (Matthew 5:48). Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand (James 1:17). I am your provider and I meet all your needs (Matthew 6:31-33). My plan for your future has always been filled with hope (Jeremiah 29:11). I love you with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3). My thoughts toward you are as countless as the sand on the seashore (Psalm 139:17-18). I rejoice over you with singing (Zephaniah 3:17). I will never stop doing good to you (Jeremiah 32:40). You are my treasured possession (Exodus 19:5). I desire to establish you with all my heart and soul (Jeremiah 32:41). I want to show you great and marvelous things (Jeremiah 33:3). If you seek me with all of your heart, you will find me (Deuteronomy 4:29). Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4). It is I that gave you those desires (Philippians 2:13). I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine (Ephesians 3:20). I am your greatest encourager (II Thessalonians 2:16-17). I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles (II Corinthians 1:3-4). When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you (Psalm 34:18). As a shepherd carries a lamb, I carried you close to my heart (Isaiah 40:11). One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes and I’ll take away all the pain you suffered on this earth (Revelation 21:3-4).
I am your Father and I love you as I love my son, Jesus (John 17:23). In Jesus my love for you is revealed (John 17:26). He is the exact representation of my being (Hebrews 1:3). He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you (Romans 8:31). I am not counting your sins (II Corinthians 5:18-19). Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled (II Corinthians 5:18-19). His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you (I John 4:10). I gave up everything that I loved so that I might gain your love (Romans 8:32). If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me (I John 2:23). Nothing will ever separate you from my love again (Romans 8:38-39).
Come home and I’ll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen (Luke 15:7). I have always been Father and will always be Father (Ephesians 3:14-15). My question is, will you be my child?(John 1:12-13). I am waiting for you (Luke 15:11-32).
Love, Your Dad, Almighty God
Who am I?
1. I am the salt of the earth (Matthew 3:13)
2. I am the light of the world (Matthew 5:14)
3. I am a child of God (John 1:12)
4. I am part of the true vine, a channel of Christ’s life (John 15:1,5)
5. I am Christ’s friend (John 15:15)
6. I am chosen and appointed by Christ to bear his fruit (John 15:16)
7. I am a slave of righteousness (Romans 6:18)
8. I am enslaved to God (Romans 6:22)
9. I am a son/daughter of God; God is spiritually my Father (Galatians 3:26, 4:6)
10. I am a joint heir with Christ, sharing his inheritance with him (Romans 8:17)
11. I am a temple, a dwelling place of God. His Spirit and His life dwell in me (1 Corinthians 3:16; 6:19)
12. I am united to the Lord and am one spirit with him (1 Corinthians 6:17)
13. I am a member of Christ’s body (1 Corinthians 12:27, Ephesians 5:30)
14. I am a new creation (II Corinthians 5:17)
15. I am reconciled to God and am a minister of reconciliation (II Corinthians 5:16, 19)
16. I am a son/daughter of God and one with Christ (Galatians 3:26, 28)
17. I am an heir of God since I am a son of God (Galatians 4:7)
18. I am a saint (Ephesians 1:1, 1 Corinthians 1:2, Philippians 1:1)
19. I am God’s workmanship, his handiwork, born anew in Christ to do his work (Ephesians 2:10)
20. I am a fellow citizen with the rest of God’s family (Ephesians 2:19)
21. I am righteous and holy (Ephesians 4:24)
22. I am a citizen of heaven, seated in heaven right now (Philippians 3:20, Ephesians 2:6)
23. I am hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3)
24. I am chosen of God, holy and dearly loved (Colossians 3:12, 1 Thessalonians 1:4)
25. I am a son of light and not of darkness (1 Thessalonians 5:5)
26. I am a holy partaker of a heavenly calling (Hebrews 3:1)
27. I am a partaker of Christ; I share in his life (Hebrews 3:14)
28. I am one of God’s living stones, being built up in Christ as a spiritual house (1 Peter 2:5)
29. I am a member of a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession (1 Peter 2:5)
30. I am an alien and stranger to this world in which I temporarily live (1 Peter 2:11)
31. I am an enemy of the devil (I Peter 5:8-9)
Again, here is The Transformed Life:
http://www.holytrinitysh.com/sermons/
Beside it, you will find the link for Life Today which has Beth Moore's teaching on the power of scripture. Wow. Her 4 part series, an Anatomy of a Victory on Life Today has been powerful encouragement to pray scripture.
Then, I reference a handout in my sermon that I have cut and pasted here. One side was a "letter from God" all scripture about His love for us and the other side, a teaching about our identity in Christ, both from the inner healing prayer book, Released to Soar.
I'm so looking forward to all the stories you will share of the victories in your life! God bless!
You may not know me, but I know everything about you (Psalm 139:1). I know when you sit down and when you rise up (Psalm 139:2). I am familiar with all of your ways (Psalm 139:3). Even the hairs on your head are numbered (Matthew 10:29-31). You were made in my image (Genesis 1:27). In me you live, move and have your being (Acts 17:28). You are my offspring (Acts 17:28). I knew you even before you were conceived (Jeremiah 1:4-5). I chose you when I planned creation (Ephesians 1:11-12). You were not a mistake (Psalm 139:15-16). All your days are written in my book (Psalm 139:15-16). I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live (Acts 17:26). You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). I knit you together in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13). I brought you forth on the day you were born (Psalm 71:6).
I have been misrepresented by those who know me (John 8:40-44). I am not distant or angry, but the complete expression of love (1 John 4:16). My desire is to lavish my love on you, simply because you are my child and I am your Father (1 John 3:1). I offer you more than your earthly father ever could (Matthew 7:11). I am the perfect Father (Matthew 5:48). Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand (James 1:17). I am your provider and I meet all your needs (Matthew 6:31-33). My plan for your future has always been filled with hope (Jeremiah 29:11). I love you with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3). My thoughts toward you are as countless as the sand on the seashore (Psalm 139:17-18). I rejoice over you with singing (Zephaniah 3:17). I will never stop doing good to you (Jeremiah 32:40). You are my treasured possession (Exodus 19:5). I desire to establish you with all my heart and soul (Jeremiah 32:41). I want to show you great and marvelous things (Jeremiah 33:3). If you seek me with all of your heart, you will find me (Deuteronomy 4:29). Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4). It is I that gave you those desires (Philippians 2:13). I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine (Ephesians 3:20). I am your greatest encourager (II Thessalonians 2:16-17). I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles (II Corinthians 1:3-4). When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you (Psalm 34:18). As a shepherd carries a lamb, I carried you close to my heart (Isaiah 40:11). One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes and I’ll take away all the pain you suffered on this earth (Revelation 21:3-4).
I am your Father and I love you as I love my son, Jesus (John 17:23). In Jesus my love for you is revealed (John 17:26). He is the exact representation of my being (Hebrews 1:3). He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you (Romans 8:31). I am not counting your sins (II Corinthians 5:18-19). Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled (II Corinthians 5:18-19). His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you (I John 4:10). I gave up everything that I loved so that I might gain your love (Romans 8:32). If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me (I John 2:23). Nothing will ever separate you from my love again (Romans 8:38-39).
Come home and I’ll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen (Luke 15:7). I have always been Father and will always be Father (Ephesians 3:14-15). My question is, will you be my child?(John 1:12-13). I am waiting for you (Luke 15:11-32).
Love, Your Dad, Almighty God
Who am I?
1. I am the salt of the earth (Matthew 3:13)
2. I am the light of the world (Matthew 5:14)
3. I am a child of God (John 1:12)
4. I am part of the true vine, a channel of Christ’s life (John 15:1,5)
5. I am Christ’s friend (John 15:15)
6. I am chosen and appointed by Christ to bear his fruit (John 15:16)
7. I am a slave of righteousness (Romans 6:18)
8. I am enslaved to God (Romans 6:22)
9. I am a son/daughter of God; God is spiritually my Father (Galatians 3:26, 4:6)
10. I am a joint heir with Christ, sharing his inheritance with him (Romans 8:17)
11. I am a temple, a dwelling place of God. His Spirit and His life dwell in me (1 Corinthians 3:16; 6:19)
12. I am united to the Lord and am one spirit with him (1 Corinthians 6:17)
13. I am a member of Christ’s body (1 Corinthians 12:27, Ephesians 5:30)
14. I am a new creation (II Corinthians 5:17)
15. I am reconciled to God and am a minister of reconciliation (II Corinthians 5:16, 19)
16. I am a son/daughter of God and one with Christ (Galatians 3:26, 28)
17. I am an heir of God since I am a son of God (Galatians 4:7)
18. I am a saint (Ephesians 1:1, 1 Corinthians 1:2, Philippians 1:1)
19. I am God’s workmanship, his handiwork, born anew in Christ to do his work (Ephesians 2:10)
20. I am a fellow citizen with the rest of God’s family (Ephesians 2:19)
21. I am righteous and holy (Ephesians 4:24)
22. I am a citizen of heaven, seated in heaven right now (Philippians 3:20, Ephesians 2:6)
23. I am hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3)
24. I am chosen of God, holy and dearly loved (Colossians 3:12, 1 Thessalonians 1:4)
25. I am a son of light and not of darkness (1 Thessalonians 5:5)
26. I am a holy partaker of a heavenly calling (Hebrews 3:1)
27. I am a partaker of Christ; I share in his life (Hebrews 3:14)
28. I am one of God’s living stones, being built up in Christ as a spiritual house (1 Peter 2:5)
29. I am a member of a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession (1 Peter 2:5)
30. I am an alien and stranger to this world in which I temporarily live (1 Peter 2:11)
31. I am an enemy of the devil (I Peter 5:8-9)
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Prepping for Sunday and Rustic Potato Quiche Recipe
Rustic Potato Quiche
From Cooking Light
It's prep day around here: Saturday. Recently, I decided to revamp my family's organizational life and really listen to what was working and what wasn't.
Sunday morning? Not working. So, I decided to adopt the Sabbath making gift of our Jewish sisters. They are known for baking up a storm the day before. Why? God's a pretty smart guy. He knows that moms don't really know how to Sabbath and need to be taught. Remember the Israelites' manna meals? On Friday those who gathered the manna needed to pick up a second helping for the next day because none of the white starchy stuff would fall on the Sabbath. The focus of the Sabbath was supposed to be relaxing, enjoying their family and the goodness of the Lord. An entire day for celebrating. God showed us how it was done when He rested after waving creation into existence.
Sundays just got simpler with this planning:
Kids get baths and lay out their clothes down to the shoes the night before.
Breakfast is planned
All diaper bags/chatechesis of the good shepherd stories, etc. are layed by the door
I lay my clothes out and wake up in time to do hair and make-up before 7
All Sunday meals are made on Saturday afternoon.
But, honestly? The heart prep is what ends up mattering most. Have you ever noticed this? I've noticed that if I haven't been in the Word enough, on Sunday mornings I can really tell. The readings feel dry and passionless and the seed doesn't find fertile soil. It is almost as if I need to weed and plow up the ground before the Spirit can do His creative work. If my prayer life is stunted, I can't think of a thing to pray during the congregational prayers, and there are sometimes that even the singing seems forced and unfocused. Today I've been listening to God about this. I've discovered the fabulous worship music of Shane and Shane and their sound perked up the Saturday afternoon food prep experience.
I think tonight I'll add something new to the routine: Eight hours of delicious sleep! Being organized never sounded so delightful.
Rustic Potato Quiche
Filling:
2 bacon slices
1 cup chopped red potato
½ cup chopped onion
½ cup (2 ounces) Jarlsberg cheese
¼ cup thinly sliced green onions
1 ½ cups 1 low fat milk
¼ tsp salt
1/8 tsp ground red pepper
3 large eggs
¼ tsp paprika
1. Preheat oven to 400.
2. Prebake crust at 400 for 10 minutes. Cool before filling.
3. Reduce oven temp to 375.
4. To prepare filling, cook bacon in a large nonstick skillet over medium heat until crisp. Remove bacon from skillet; crumble. Add potato and chopped onion to bacon drippings in skillet; sauté 10 minutes or until tender. Remove from heat.
5. Arrange potato mixture, bacon, cheese, and green onions in prepared crust. Combine milk, ¼ tsp salt, pepper, and eggs; stir well with a whisk. Pour milk mixture into crust; sprinkle with paprika. Bake at 375 for 45 minutes or until a knife inserted 1 inch from center comes out clean; let stand 10 minutes.
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