The Thanksgiving Shift

All morning I've been muttering, "I have so much to do.  I have so much to do!"  Sound familiar?  Usually I can deal with negative thoughts and address them as they come up, but Xavier has upped the ante. 

Xavier the Happy has left the happy phase and entered the screaming phase.  He screams when he's upset.  He screams when he is bored.  He even seems to scream when he is happy at times.  My "I've got to fix everything that is wrong" brain is going absolutely haywire.  Breathe, Summer.  Breathe. 

These were my attempts at fixes:  I've made the dining room into a huge corral to play in.  He screams as I put him in, and screams even when older children are trying to entertain him.  I've brought special toys up from the basement with special electronic lights, giggle sounds and piano keyes and though they keep his interest for a few minutes, soon he's screaming again.   I've put him into the backpack to go up and down stairs to do laundry, clear dishes, etc.  and his scream is not "fixed", it is just closer to my ear!  (No, moms, he's not hurt, hungry or needing to be changed...) 

The whole time this is happening, my nerves are fraying and I'm thinking about the dirty floor that needs to be swept, the table full of crumbs, and the dust that has been piling up in the living room.  I'm getting more and more annoyed and I know thanks to neurologists that toxic chemicals are flooding my brain.  Just now as I passed through my bedroom, I looked longingly at my bed and the big white comforter that would have felt wonderful being pulled up over my head.  I can think of a hundren places I'd rather be.  I find myself fantasizing about daycare.

I had to go back to the first six weeks of having an infant in order to remember coping techniques for today.  Thanksgiving always seems to be my best way out of this toxic brain freeze: 

Thank you God that I'm putting this dish away.  Thank You that I get to push the vaccuum cleaner over this area of carpet. Thank You that I filled the washer with clothes.  Thank You that I was able to accomplish putting in soap and pushing the button.  Tiny thanksgivings.  My mom had a tape that said to focus on the power of one.  One dish put away.  One more dish put away.  Thank You.  One fork.  Thank You.

1 Chronicles 23:30 They were also to stand every morning to thank and praise the LORD.  They were to do the same every evening.

I'm the type of person who approaches each day with crazy expectations.  I recently wrote a list of what made a successful day and it had fourteen bullet points! 

I know I'm going about this all wrong.  Instead of showing up to the morning with a huge list, I should be thanking Him for every small success. 

I read this verse out of the daily office lectionary today:
Zechariah 4: 10 "Do not despise the day of small things." 

OK, God.  Duly noted.

Ahhh, quiet!  Naptime.