Shedding the Dragonskin of Discontent

I got more emails and facebook comments from my last contentment exercise than any other post and thought, hmmm, maybe my dear luminous friends have an issue with this like I do.  So, here is a bit of my story with discontent.  We'll keep talking about it bit by bit over the next few weeks.  Have courage, my sister, to look into the abyss of your own soul, as one early desert father would say, and be willing to roll up your sleeves with the help of the Holy Spirit.  Freedom takes courage.

A few years ago the Lord pulled back one of the dragon skins (like Eustace in the Voyage of the Dawntreader by CS Lewis) of my heart and revealed a thick skin of discontent.  One of the major culprits? I always looked forward toward something else that would make "it all better" a pot at the end of the rainbow if anything is!  The future certainly would be better than this, I thought.  Unfortunately, I was so busy dwelling on what life wasn't giving me, that I would miss the gift of the present. 

I read "Calm My Anxious Heart" by Linda Dillow and loved her chapters on contentment.  Those chapters revealed how thick discontent really was through my everyday life.  I woke up holding discontent tight like a treasure, wore feelings of resentment like armor as I cleaned, and it spewed out of my mouth when I was chatting with friends.  Not too pleasant a dragonly sight.  My husband was finding me scaly and difficult.  This was a thick dragon skin that demanded more than just a confession.  It had to be ripped off scale by scale by God himself.

I needed my mind renewed by Truth Himself...given through the Word and as we "reasoned together" in a journal.  Scripture memorization was one of the only ways I could find that would "slay" the dragon skin.  Then, each day I kept a contentment journal.  This issue created too much havoc in my family as well as my own heart to just peak in at it, forget it and still live in the mud.  I know that if I don't learn something now, I will end up learning it again.  I wasn't going to miss this opportunity. 

If you feel the same way, go get "Calm my Anxious Heart" and read the contentment chapters then find yourself a pretty journal with empty pages to encourage your conversation with the Lord over this issue.  If you are like me, this dragon skin will be thicker than you imagined. 

On the inside cover of the journal write Philippians 4:11-13 slowly committing it to memory: 

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
And what was his secret?

I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.

Couple that scripture with Ephesians 1 that says that the same power that raised Christ from the dead is available to us!  Wow.  That's potent resurrection-creating stuff!  I want that in my life!

Just that scripture alone has the power to slip many dragon scales from tender skin. 

You'll find after you have shed the thick dragon skin of discontentment that you are more luminous than ever.  We can worship much better when we aren't complaining all the time!

Taking a Picture to Help My Short Term Memory...Literally

The tourists are back in town with cameras big and small and today I joined them...out of a pursuit for truth.  I've had a bad attitude lately...and my short-term memory has been lousy.  Essentially I go through the bedtime routine with the new addition of daily baths and I fall exhausted onto the couch, frustrated over a day with annoying children.  And no, they were not annoying and no, it wasn't a bad day.  I just happen to be excellent at focusing on the stress and not the smiles.

Today I decided to use up the memory on my phone by literally taking pictures of our entire day together, the precious moments big and small. 

First picture: Caedmon was inspired to get ready for kindergarten by writing in his new lined notebook.  Madeline followed suit by learning to write a new letter.  Quiet productivity.  Interested learning.  There's nothing better.  Click.

An hour later Madeline came into the kitchen with an armful of boardbooks to read to X-man.  Click...only of course with a short attention span of a 10 month old, a minute too late.  By the time I had grabbed the camera, Madeline was chasing X with said books.  "Look at this one!"

I put Xavier down for morning nap to find that I had a few moments to read.  I downloaded Swiss Family Robinson on my phone and read a few pages of the original to an enrapt Caedmon.  I have no idea how much he comprehended, the language was thick with "said I's" and "personages."  Quality time cuddling on the red couch with my eldest and a book is heaven for an English major.  Click.

After lunch I put X-man into the Kelty backpack and the other two darling towheads into the double stroller and headed downtown for the above view and of course a quick bakery run for Morning Glory muffins.  Click.

Dinner was a picnic at the kids' park with friends.  The weather was sunny with a breeze.  Kids roamed free (sounds like a description of organic chickens:) AND I got to chat with adults while watching sailboats float across the horizon.  Click.

Recently I read that negative thoughts literally release toxic chemicals into the brain and positive thoughts release good hormones.  Wow.  That explains a lot.  So often I get to the end of the day believing a lie, that my life is horrible and whining, "don't I have it so hard!?"    The truth is just the opposite: "Every good and perfect gift has come from above" (James 1:17) I just have an embarrassingly bad short-term memory.  I'm like a child on Christmas morning after the presents have been opened, disappointed she hasn't been given anything special.  

I've decided that the truth is worth fighting for,  I just need a little digital help it to sink in.  I think I'll continue my pursuit of truth tomorrow at the beach.

Contentment Exercise: Simple. extremely simple thanksgivings

I love lists. I'm not always good at looking at the list after I've made it...but it is so much fun to write down all the things I hope to accomplish. This list is different, but is so much more satisfying! Its about thanking God for the little things.


True joy is not bound by our circumstances. This is one of those truths that I am bound and determined to get through my thick skull. My circumstances are going to be good some days and bad some days but I so want to live like the people in Psalm 84 who in their pilgrimage go from strength to strength.


This spiritual exercise from www.aholyexperience.com is one of those ways to lift our minds from the distortion of self-focus to the Giver of all good things.


Join me in journaling your own simple thanksgivings.


Xavier slathered with banana, shirt, face, hair


Xavier in the bath giggling, getting banana swabbed off


Caedmon and Andrew identifying with the iphone app the songs of the birds they were hearing outside the bedroom window


"What hero are they singing about?" Caed asked about a song on Pandora this morning, "Jesus, Caed."  "Oh," he said.  "I was wondering because I don't even have my sword and shield on me."


a quiet moment with morning tea before cleaning, baby napping


God's continued teaching.  He will accomplish that which He set out to do. 


Answers to prayer.  We've been fasting on Thursdays and God has been more than faithful.


Intercessory prayer: leaving it all at His feet.


Italy in less than a week, family, vineyards, Florence


Betty Jo, our favorite baby whisperer is going with us!