a chatty, rambling blogging letter

We're all up.  It's 7:30am. We're still in the pre-daylight savings dark and one child woke up at 5:30am finding that he needed company. 


So, baby is safely contained in the high chair and it seems that I have hands "free" to chat. 


This summer I took a few months to get a certain amount of "control" (what a tenuous word, as soon as you think you have it, the sooner it disappears,) in different areas of my life. 

First was my home, sadly neglected after Xavier was born.  I spent six weeks spending every available moment inching closer towards home organisation.  I read about it, watched shows and surfing blogs to inspire, chatted with my friends about it and found neighborhood Mother's Helpers who were out of school for the summer in order to find moments to accomplish it.

Sandra Felton is my favorite "organization lady."  Her books on cleaning and house organization draw me in.  She not only understands the struggle, she has been studying the psychology behind the struggle.  I always need to know the why behind the problem...though right now I'm pretty sure I found it!  He is sitting in the high chair covered with oatmeal. Hmmmm.  She glossed over that one.  I find that moms have a selective memory when it comes to the "adventure" of young children.  It is the great sucking time warp and once you move out of it, only the nostaligic pieces stick!  Have any of you found the same thing?


The next six weeks I rebuilt my home cafe, (We don't get to eat out often, but that doesn't mean I don't crave great food!)getting creative again, trying new recipes and focusing on nutrition.  Way fun.  Barefoot Contessa's recipes are all over the internet and her Cheese blintzes with blueberry sauce were simply divine.  Everyone agreed, even baby, who happily gazed up in a dreamy marscopone haze.  Yup, honey.  God has given us cheese and it is good. 
Then, in August, we delved right into the world of homeschooling...while Andrew started a side business in web design, (along with mobile webdesign, e-stores and social marketing) and honestly, I have taken on more administration and teaching than I should have at church.  Then, with baby waking up as soon as he hears me and going to sleep close to 9:30 each night, I fell into bed exhausted and uninspired to blog.  Hmmm.  Now I sound like I'm complaining and making excuses...

But, I miss you all as well as blogging so  that on my day off I have been writing post drafts and have lots to share.  You have been on my mind even while absent! 

I'm thinking through a change in blog title like Anglicanpriestmom...or something like that.  And, in the future, I plan on doing some book reviews and bringing more strong women mentors to the table.  Look for the first in the next few days.

Meantime, "He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ." 

His peace be on your home and all who dwell in it,
Summer Joy

Maddie's Day With Mommy

Madeline stayed home from preschool last Wednesday.  She had been acting super whiny and angry, teasing her brothers incessantly and spending lots of time on the time-out chair.  Her blanket was never far away...and neither was her thumb.  Hmmm. 

She had stayed at Andrew's parents and then mine for a few days the week before while mommy and daddy went south to a diocesan convention.  Obviously she was very loved and taken care of, but she needed to be grounded again.  She needed to be reminded that she was loved.  She needed her identity grounded. 

It was simple, really.  We played a few small board games, talked about being princesses: "I'm a princess, mommy."  "Ya Maddie?"  "Ya," she pointed to her dress-up dress, "because princesses wear puffed sleeves."  Smile.  I love the logic of a three year old.

We read a book on the couch and then had lotion massages of our feet. Then, we spent the last half hour cleaning together.  "Mom, I want to go wherever you go."  That's what she always says when she feels especially loved.  (Check out The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Smalley.)  By noon she was Maddie again and I had my daughter back. 

Fast forward a few days to Sunday afternoon.  I'm exhausted.  Tearful.  And looking for myself in other people's eyes.  Hmmm.  I needed my identity grounded again.  And I needed powerful medicine.  A friend who takes care of the kids was able to love on them that afternoon until Andrew came home.  Thank goodness.  I knew I wouldn't be a good mother until I got life straightened back out.  I needed a real sabbath.

My sister understood and talked straight to me when I called her on the phone.  Bad day, I said.  Sugar's off (both of us have an insulin imbalance that effects us emotionally.)  "Summer," she said, "this is normal.  Get into scripture.  Read one truth after another until the truth starts sticking again." 

She was right.  I sat down with a large Thai chicken soup at a Noodles and slowly read truth. 

First, interestingly enough, the Lord had to speak truth to how I got there.  "Stop chasing after fruit, Summer."  Oh.  Ya.  Fruit should happen naturally and I was spinning busily in a lot of different directions.  Summer, Abide.  Be Still.  Sit.  Stay.  Nest here in Me. 

Your primary purpose is not to be fruitful, but to delight in Me...to be my own.

Your primary purpose is not fruit

not production, i.e. writing, housework

not intercession

not wisdom

not teaching

not even mothering.

Your primary purpose is here, with Me.  "I will plant her FOR MYSELF in the land."  Hosea 2:23 

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4 

Yup.  I am a fruit-chaser.  Guilty.  Exhausted and guilty.  

Then, and this truly was the surprising part.  Here's the next verse that was staring at me to attend to it. 

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us that we should be called children of God" from 1 John 3:1 

I needed my true identity rubbed into me like a lotion, lavishly.  I needed to be reminded of who He was and again, who I am.  I am a child of God with a Father who is lavish with his love. 

His truth is always powerful medicine.  Like Madeline, soon I was righted again, standing up straight, not bent toward others' view of me, not spinning in haphazard busyness, but confidently abiding in His Presence.

My dear Luminous Women, our call to sabbath, (one of those 10 commandments, remember) is not a selfish day away from our dear little ones (or big ones :), but necessary time spent listening to that Voice healing and transforming us. It is a long drink from the living water, not just the usual short swigs that leave us thirsty and still dehydrated. Sabbath is how we get reestablished in our identity and hear that call to "Come away, my Beloved."  Be here.  Stay here.  Abide. 

Days Off

When was your last day off? Motherhood and whatever else you do are more than full time jobs! What replenishes you? How do you get refilled in order to have something to give again?

My dears, we need to find ways to lie fallow in order to be planted again and actually yield something nutritious. Give up false mommy guilt and get a babysitter for at least four hours a week not in order to clean that bathroom more perfectly, but to become a human being for a while, replenish, read, pray, listen to your music loudly (not the Backyardigans), enjoy a sunset, go shopping. The truth is that I lose all perspective if I don't have days off. (I call them Sabbaths in order to justify them to myself on my more people-pleasing days.) I start spinning out of control like a top and forget what my priorities are, worse, I lose touch with God.

JoAnne Weaver in Having a Mary Heart in a Martha world say that she has found a formula for intimacy with God. I hate formulas but this so works:

Bible + Prayer + Time = Intimacy with God.

If I don't give time somehow it all stays on the surface and doesn't sink in.

Anyways, find your own Sabbath and clear out space for it...I'll see you later... I'm going Goodwill shopping and used bookstore hopping today. Happy hunting.